Gladly Escape

Hello there my dear readers! (as if I have one!) Hahahaha Here I am again venting out all my disappointments, frustrations and heartaches through this blog. If you have read my previous posts better get used to it *sigh**cries* I just couldn't understand myself on why I easily get attracted and eventually get attached to someone. I actually thought that 2019 would be different. I truly believed that my heart was guarded, protected, and sealed. I was wrong. Totally wrong. I just have this delusion that it was. It had never been. I realized that I had this endless cycle. Build a wall > Found someone > Trusted him > Getting attached > Realized it was a one-sided love > Move on > Start to build a wall > Found another man that I thought could love the broken part of me > so on and so forth. I was never whole. I just thought that I am. I was looking for someone to make me whole. IT'S THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE!!!! These past few months, ...

Dear brad, It's been months since I knew that you left this world. I truly miss you. You are one of the best people I know. I miss the way you look at me. The way you treated me. I miss how gentle you are despite your bad boy appearance. I miss how you would listen to my nonsense talks. I miss you singing songs to me. I miss being myself with you, the weaker and darker version of me.  It was my fault that I blocked you and choose not to communicate with you. I needed time to think and I felt like on that time I needed some space. I needed time to think if giving us a chance would be worth it. I regret that everyday. I wish i took the risk. I wish I haven't given up on us.  Right now, I want to be with you. How I wish that you could see me now, I am slowly following what I want as you always asked me to. I wish you were here when I passed the licensure exam. You were so supportive to me and encouraging me to be a teacher. How I wish I could turn back time, ...