The Bi/etter Me | 04
Hello there my dear readers! (as if I have one!) Hahahaha Here I am again venting out all my disappointments, frustrations and heartaches through this blog. If you have read my previous posts better get used to it *sigh**cries*
I just couldn't understand myself on why I easily get attracted and eventually get attached to someone. I actually thought that 2019 would be different. I truly believed that my heart was guarded, protected, and sealed. I was wrong. Totally wrong. I just have this delusion that it was. It had never been. I realized that I had this endless cycle.
Build a wall > Found someone > Trusted him > Getting attached > Realized it was a one-sided love > Move on > Start to build a wall > Found another man that I thought could love the broken part of me > so on and so forth.
I was never whole. I just thought that I am. I was looking for someone to make me whole. IT'S THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE!!!!
These past few months, it came to me that these years I've been begging for love. I was in denial that I was not because it sounded so pathetic. But it's the TRUTH. This f****** truth goddamn hurts like an endless stabbing of thousand swords.
My past relationships have taught me to hide my true self. Both of them only liked the strong, confident, fun, carefree, aggressive, strong-willed side of me. And I have been living in that facade for such a long time. I was never allowed to be weak. It's one of the reason why I always feel so lost in a relationship. I don't know who I am and what I want.
Second realization, you will never feel valued because you based your value from other people. When you continue to ask others to give value to you, you will end up feeling empty.
Third realization, always believe in someone's action and never on their words. Always watch the behavior of someone on how he or she would treat you. Actions never lie. You can easily bend words. You can always lie with words. You can sound sincere with words. You just can't simple trust words. However, actions never lie.
Fourth realization, choose your friends wisely. There are many people who would hide in a sheep's clothing. Most of the people would take advantage of you, especially if you appear weak to them. Be very careful
I just couldn't understand myself on why I easily get attracted and eventually get attached to someone. I actually thought that 2019 would be different. I truly believed that my heart was guarded, protected, and sealed. I was wrong. Totally wrong. I just have this delusion that it was. It had never been. I realized that I had this endless cycle.
Build a wall > Found someone > Trusted him > Getting attached > Realized it was a one-sided love > Move on > Start to build a wall > Found another man that I thought could love the broken part of me > so on and so forth.
I was never whole. I just thought that I am. I was looking for someone to make me whole. IT'S THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE!!!!
These past few months, it came to me that these years I've been begging for love. I was in denial that I was not because it sounded so pathetic. But it's the TRUTH. This f****** truth goddamn hurts like an endless stabbing of thousand swords.
My past relationships have taught me to hide my true self. Both of them only liked the strong, confident, fun, carefree, aggressive, strong-willed side of me. And I have been living in that facade for such a long time. I was never allowed to be weak. It's one of the reason why I always feel so lost in a relationship. I don't know who I am and what I want.
Second realization, you will never feel valued because you based your value from other people. When you continue to ask others to give value to you, you will end up feeling empty.
Third realization, always believe in someone's action and never on their words. Always watch the behavior of someone on how he or she would treat you. Actions never lie. You can easily bend words. You can always lie with words. You can sound sincere with words. You just can't simple trust words. However, actions never lie.
Fourth realization, choose your friends wisely. There are many people who would hide in a sheep's clothing. Most of the people would take advantage of you, especially if you appear weak to them. Be very careful
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