To My Almost
To the one I thought would end the cycle,
Fast. Too fast. I couldn't think of any other word to describe our short-lived love affair. It just happened so fast that I got lost and confused. I assumed you were too.
It's undeniable that we had an interest for each other *confidence level 9999* *evil laugh*. Though honestly, i still couldn't believe that someone like you actually liked me. You're way out of my league, man. And I can say that I'm just an ordinary woman. There's nothing so special about me. hahaha *silent cry*
I know, it was my fault. I immediately asked you if we were in this so-called 'relationship'. I couldn't even believe that I asked you that question. I was not even ready. I am pretty sure that you were surprised when I said that. Everything changed after that. You became distant and cold. I felt guilty. I felt sorry for you and for myself too. I wish I could turn my words back. I wish I didn't ask you. I wish I didn't meet you in the first place because now I am in an emotional dilemma because of you.
Then things got more complicated. This other girl that you used to have an interest with came back. And I could see that she's still into you. Do you know what hurts me the most? It's the way you look at her. You two look good together though.
Sorry.
Sorry. It's time to save myself. I told you that we were better off as friends though deep inside I don't want to. And again, I wish I could take my words back. I'm not sure if I've made the right decision. I am torn between letting you go and saving myself in getting deeper heartaches or taking the risk even though you would leave me but choose to spend the last few months being with you, not as a friend.
Sorry I got scared. I got scared because I'm starting to have deep feelings for you and I thought that letting you go would stop it but NO!!! A big NO!! How foolish of me thinking that it would stop when I would see you everyday? How stupid it is to think that if I distance myself I can control it? How can I do that when I could talk with you, see you and even spend some of my weekends with you? It's hard. I'm scared of getting attached to you but here I am.
How I wish you would read this, so you would know that I get hurt and envious every time you talk about this other girl and you sound so proud and how I wish you could do the same way to me. How I wish I am the reason behind your smile.
To you my almost, I just want you to know that I am slowly falling for you. This is not a good sign, I know. I need to stop this. Control this. Kill this feeling and bury it.
My almost, If I could turn back time and asked you to choose me, will you?
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